Overload
I'm pretty stressed out right now. Everything adds up to be overwhelming. There's a lot of awesome mixed in with holy crap! I have been working four hours everday mowing and weed whipping and catering for 6 hours every other day and add this to my new class(which they say will be one of the hardest college clases), research, moving and getting my life in order, and I am super busy. The sad thing is that none of this will let up for the next four months. I have to get 40 hours a week in ordert to support myself while I live here spring and summer and pay for tuition and save money for Africa. I'm afraid I won't have enough money and I don't have enough to buy litterally anything until I get a pay check in two weeks( litterally I have to borrow $20 to pay rent.) Everything will be alright, I will be able to juggle everything. It always starts out this way but then everything will come together. I will be okay, people will be okay. I can just do the best I can. calm down. The good thing is that my condo is incredible and I decorated it so it really feels like home. I can really take pride in it because I am completely supporting myself this summer and this is the first time in my life I am truly independent. It's an exhilarating and scary feeling. Bills and work and real life adulthood. I was weed whipping at a school today watching the children on the playground and wondering when it would be my turn to play. Spring and summer will not be my time for fun like I originally anticipated. At least I really love catering and the people I work with provide some social time. Also I really adore my roomates, Marilyn, Lori, and Celeste. My incredible friend Thelma is staying with us for this week until she goes to Thailand for the summer. We stay up late discussing life. My favorite thing to do. I miss my family terribly too. I don't get to go home for another month. I'm afraid I'm going to use way too many minutes on my new cell phone talking to them and Kim. I don't know if I want to stay summer anymore, but I have to have a job and I might not have one home. And I would have to sell my contract. Well that's something to think about and work on. I have to go back to work now which seems like all I'm ever doing.
posted by Colleen @ 3:34 PM
2 Comments:
Wow, this post made me feel so frustrated, and I'm not the one with all the work to be doing! It's weird to think that this is how real life is, and we're already beginning our experiences with it. It makes me feel so old. I can already imagine myself getting less and less playful and fun when I start to get stressed out about work and school and everything. I suppose that's the real process of maturing. Of course I believe there should always be room for a breather, and I'd suggest making sure you find the time to go play with those kids on the playground every now and then. (Maybe not literally, but you know what I mean) I imagine you'll be able to be more productive overall when you take the time to be a kid again; I think it helps us see the big picture better. I think you're doing an awesome job, Colleen. You're way more organized and focused than I've ever been. I can only hope my mission changes that about me, which I'm fairly certain it will.
Hey, I go to BYU (Provo) and just ran across your post. Anyway, I manage RateMyApartments.com and we focus a lot on the Provo area. If you ever feel like selling your contract or rating your apartment, I personally invite you to. Good luck! Keep the stress low...we'll make it through!
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